[00:00:00] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Most founders know relationship matters, but very few know how to turn them into a predictable growth engine. In this episode, we break down how high trust relationships actually work, why most networking fails, and how to build partnerships that create real revenue and long-term impact.

A lot of our audiences are building serious businesses. They have strong products, strong teams, and strong tech. But growth often stalls because access to right relationships take years, and that’s why I wanted Kevin’s take on how to spot high leverage relationships, how to earn trust faster without manipulation, how to avoid wasting time on the wrong connections.

By the end of this episode, you will have a clearer way to think about relationships as a system, not luck.

[00:01:03] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Hello and welcome to Lessons from the Leap. I’m your host Ghazenfer Mansoor . On this show, I get to sit down with entrepreneurs, founders, and business leaders who talk about bold decisions, pivotal moments, and innovative ideas that shape their journey. This episode is brought to you by Technology Rivers.

At Technology River, we bring innovation through technology and AI to solve real world problems. If you’d like to learn more about us, head over to technology riverse.com and tell us more about your project. Today we have Kevin Thompson, founder of Impact and Legacy Collective, and host of the Million Dollar Relationship podcast with us.

Kevin, can you introduce yourself, tell us a bit more about your journey and what are you working on? 

[00:01:47] Kevin Thompson: Sure. Well, I’ll tell you, you know, coming, coming off the back of the holidays here, you know, and, and just taking a bunch of time off for the last couple weeks,  you know, the thing that comes up first and foremost is I am a, a husband.

I’m a father to seven kids, and grandpa currently to six grandkids. And,  you know, and, and for years, my whole business has been designed to just allow me to, you know, be that husband and father I wanna be while also being the entrepreneur that I want to be. And so I’m, I’m, I’m really blessed in that regard because it has been such an area of focus that today I get to have this business that just totally fits in with and funds the lifestyle I wanna live.

And I get to be this connector and conduit of trust for some absolutely amazing entrepreneurs,  entrepreneurs who are using their businesses as the vehicle to make their biggest impact, who are just doing amazing things in this world. And,  and, and I get to make introductions for them that lead to five figure, six figure seven figure business deals and, and with the direction we’re going, uh.

 but we’re gonna be making an eight and nine figure impact as well. And so I’m just, I am,  really blessed and I’m just excited to be along for this ride Ghazenfer, and so 

[00:03:16] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Cool. Cool, cool.  Thank you for sharing that. So, looking back, when did you start at this? Like, what was your, what was the triggering moment when you realized relationships are really important and I should focus on just helping others build relationships. So,

[00:03:37] Kevin Thompson: A lot of entrepreneurs have heard of a company called Strategic Coach and Dan Sullivan and Babs Smith are the founders of Strategic Coach. And, it was through Dan Sullivan that I first heard the concept called Unique Ability, which he coined and I first heard about it 23 years ago.  I saw Dan speak at a seminar. And he was talking about this concept called unique ability, which is,  unique ability is something that we all possess, this God-given gift or gifts that we’re just really good at. And yet, quite often we will just kind of blow it off.

Like, oh, that, that’s so simple. Anybody can do that. Well, no, it’s not that anybody can do that. It’s that we can do that because it’s our gift and. You know, and going through that exercise with Dan, one of the things that he has you do is, well, if you, in, in discovering your unique ability, what you, what you do is you just reach out to other people and use specific verbiage, which he gave us, and, and share this with them and just ask them, Hey, what do they know to be true about you?

And so I asked friends of mine this, that I really appreciated and I valued their opinion. And it all came back to relationships. People were always telling me, Kevin, you are the relationship guy. You play such a high value on relationships. And, and so like 22, 23 years ago was when I, and, and of course as people shared with that, with me, I’m like, you know what?

They’re totally right. And like and what do you do with that though? Yeah, no. And   in 2014, well 2013 is when we had the first experience, but in 2014 I ended up launching a publishing company and, and for 12 years I ran that company and,  I did what’s called strategic partnering. I partnered with other entrepreneurs.

To help me get my message out into the marketplace. And if it was, I did almost 600 strategic partnerships over the 12 years that I ran that company. And I would, that business would’ve not had the success it had, if not for all those partners that we had, and I was so grateful to those partners for the role that they held in my life and helping me grow that business.

And I was always trying to figure out, well, how can I be of service to them? And, and one of the things that I’m really good at, I love talking with entrepreneurs. I love hearing what they’re working on. I love hearing what’s got ’em jazzed up and fired up. I love hearing about what challenges they’re dealing with, what problems, what opportunities that they’re trying to take advantage of.

And, and I just naturally default when they’re sharing stuff with me that, well, who do I know that might be able to help them with what they’re telling me about? And I started making those connections. And I’ve been doing this for like 20 years now. And, the first really big connection I made was, was 15 years ago where I connected these two guys, Brian Kurtz and Perry Marshall, and those two guys have since gone on to make millions and millions of dollars together and impact millions of people’s lives too.

And,  and so, you know, I, I started doing that and I’m just like, wow, this is really cool. It’s really rewarding. And it was that experience with Perry and Brian 15 years ago that first got me thinking, wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I could have a business where I got to just do that all the time? And here we are now,  2026, that this has been my full-time gate for nine years now. And,  and it just keeps getting better and better, you know, so. 

[00:07:39] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Oh, thanks for, uh. Sharing that, that’s a good story. So, there are different types of founders and probably you come across probably hundreds of those. So there are some that are technically strong entrepreneurs. But they struggle to connect at the human level. So any advice you would give to those people? 

[00:08:05] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. So I, I think when people are struggling to connect, they, they, they might find, you know, so we go to events where,  where like there might be other entrepreneurs and we’re in a networking situation and, and, and people who aren’t used to this, they, they, they mistakenly think well.

What, what do I say to people? What am I gonna talk about? You know? And, the thing is, we don’t have to talk about anything. We don’t have to talk, we don’t have to talk about ourselves or anything. All we have to do is just ask somebody else a question. You know, and let them talk. And so one of the questions that I love asking entrepreneurs is, what are you doing in your business right now that has you most inspired, most excited right now?

And I’ll tell you what, you ask an entrepreneur that question, and they’re just gonna start talking, man. They’re gonna start telling you about all the cool stuff they’re working on, you know, and, and here’s the thing. When we really wanna make connections with other people, it’s not about talking about us, it’s not about talking about what we do or any of that stuff, you know, and, and we just ask one question and then.

By listening intently to what they share with us, because we genuinely want to get to know that person and stuff. And then as we’re listening to what they’re sharing, what happens is, is we, I’m just this naturally curious guy, they start sharing about one thing and I start asking ’em questions about that.

Well, how, what, what, you know, they, they share that I ask ’em another question. They share more and, and you know, and they’ll just keep sharing. And what happens is through this process, we end up giving people a gift that they hardly ever get to receive, which is this gift of feeling seen, heard, and understood.

And that just comes through answering, asking questions, and then genuinely listening for what they share with us and showing an active interest in what they share with us. And eventually they’re gonna get to the point where they like. Okay, Kev Ghazenfer Enough About me. Tell me about you. And they’re gonna be genuinely interested in hearing about us and what we do.

And so, you know, connecting with people is far, far easier than we ever think it is. And all we gotta do is ask a good question. What are you doing in your business? What’s got you most jazzed and inspired right now about your business? You’ll get people talking.

[00:10:49] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Very true. Genuine conversations, sharing what you do. Definitely nobody likes to hear everything about your business page. That’s not the place to do a business page. People will come talk to you once they start building trust. So everybody will come, give you business.

So, on the same note, like what should entrepreneurs, founders stop doing if they want to build better relationships?

[00:11:20] Kevin Thompson: Well, I think that a lot of entrepreneurs think they have that we have to show up a certain way, you know, and, and that, you know, or if I, you know, and we see people in our industry that are successful and we might think, well, you know what, if I was more like them then I’d be more successful or what have you.

And, the reality is. We can just show up and be us, you know, complete with our, with our gifts and with like what we might perceive as our flaws, but yet it’s our flaws that what is what really attracts people to us because they’re like, they, well I can tell you a good friend of mine years ago I met, he was my very first introduction to business back in 1995 and he was my, my very first introduction to direct response marketing. Joe Polish was his name. And, when I first started learning from Joe, I really put him on this pedestal. ’cause I thought, my goodness, this guy is so smart, you know, and the stuff he’s teaching me is just wow. And it’s really having such an impact on my business and.

But when I really got, when I got to hang out with him one time,  I had gone down to one of his events and, and I flew in a day early ’cause he wanted to hang out and, and him and I went out for lunch for the day and we went hanging out at one of these malls in Arizona and stuff. And, and after hanging out with him for the afternoon, I was like, you know what?

Yep. This guy, Joe, he really is smart, no doubt about it. He’s smart. But what I found out was, man, he’s just a regular guy just like me too. And hanging out with him that way just really helped me to discover that. And it also, it gave me hope because where I once put him on this pedestal, I’m like, Joe, I said, yeah, you are.

You are a really brilliant guy when it comes to marketing. But man, you also give me hope because if a guy like you can figure stuff out, I know I can too. You know? Right. And, and, you know, and all these years later, man, the stuff that that guy has gone on to do has been absolutely amazing. And you know what, man, my life has turned out pretty well too.

And, and yet I still struggle with a lot of things. There’s, I mean, there’s some things that, that, this really small group of things that I’m really, really good at and most of the other stuff in my business and even in my life. I kind of pretty much suck at it and I need help too, you know, and, and you know, we’re all doing the best we can with what we got.

And that is true for every single one of us. And the faster that we realize that. And the faster we realize that we can just show up and be us and, and just, we don’t have, you know, my buddy Jesse always says this, you know, nothing, I got nothing to prove and nothing to hide. And when we can just show up that way, I’ll tell you what, man.

Talk about a weight being lifted. And it, you know, it doesn’t matter who we’re talking with, we’re just showing up and being us and being of service. And,  when we show up that way, like you said Ghazenfer the right of people, they just get attracted to us, you know, and, and because it’s how we make them feel when they’re around us and when our, we’re in our presence, they just like that, you know?

[00:14:37] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Cool, cool. Now, a good point. So we have those artificial walls created. Yeah. We feel like people who have achieved and then people who have not there are some boundaries. We are all the people are same. I think once you get into that circle, I mean this is one of the things I learned in EO. So as you are in those forums,  when people are vulnerable, you start to realize we are all same humans.

[00:15:04] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. 

[00:15:04] Ghazenfer Mansoor: We all have different things in our lives. Some strengths, some weaknesses,  some challenges. So. It’s just that they handle things differently. So, and, and these conversations build those trust. And once you have built, once you start building these trust, that’s where things open up and you have more opportunities.

[00:15:29] Kevin Thompson: Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. 

[00:15:34] Ghazenfer Mansoor: So, and, and I mean, on, on the same line. What do high trust people do consistently? That low trust people never notice or value. 

[00:15:46] Kevin Thompson: Well, so in building trust with people, you know, so I have been really focused on creating valuable relationships for over 20 years, and I’ve always had this little litmus test that I use whenever I, for, for starters, anytime I wanna bring somebody into my world, especially into my inner circle, I’m always looking at, okay, is this somebody that I would be willing to invite into my home for dinner with my family and I, and, and if the answer to that question is no for any reason, then I’ve got no business doing business with that person either, you know, and, uh. And in fact, I don’t have a single client that is not a friend either. And in fact, I just had this morning, one of my clients texted me ’cause he was so excited to tell you, he’s like, Kevin, I just want 10 minutes of your time today at some point.

’cause I, ’cause I got the story I gotta share with you. And, and, and I’ll tell you, when we spoke, man, he was so excited. And I tell you, there’s, there’s major stuff going on in the world right now and, and there’s some stuff that we’re seeing in the media. That guy, he had a major role in some stuff that’s going on right now.

That’s real. I can’t talk about it, but when he shared it with me, I’m just like, why? And he is like, Kevin, it’s just like you always say, it’s all about the right relationships, you know? And, you know, and, and it is all about that. And so, you know, when we just focus on that. And so that’s one of the things that I always look at is, you know, is, is this somebody that I’d be willing to invite into my home for dinner with my family?

And then the other thing that I really look at too. It is when I’m making introductions,  ’cause I have made, I don’t know how many thousands of introductions over the years.  I’m always looking at will this further the relationship that I have with both of these people. And, if the answer is not a resounding yes on both sides of that equation, then I would never ever make that introduction because it’s always about furthering the relationship that I already have with somebody.

And so I gave the example of Joe Polish. You know, Joe and I, we go back 30 plus years, 31 years at this point in time, you know. And, you know, back in 1995, Joe had not accomplished some of the things that he’s accomplished now, and, and that relationship that goes back, you know, there’s a lot of people, I, I won’t say people coming to me all the time saying, Hey, will you introduce me to Joe?

But when somebody does come to me and say, Hey, I know you’re close friends with Joe, would you be open to making an introduction? I’m like, well, I said, what, what’s the purpose of the introduction? What do you have to bring to the table for Joe and stuff? You know? And I’m always looking at that because, you know, I, I’m not gonna put anybody in front of Joe that I think for one second would in any way damage the relationship that he and I have. And, and that’s always what we want to be looking at, is just, you know, focus on furthering the relationships that we have with people. And if we just always focus on that, that’s my goal, that’s what I want to do. Then, you know what I mean? Yeah. We might drop the ball here and there.

We might. So, and I’ve had it happen where I introduced somebody and, and things didn’t work out like I’d hoped or like I’d planned, and that happens on occasion. But as a general rule, we focus on that and that that is our North star. I’ll tell you that it will lead to some longevity when it comes to relationships.

So like, I mean, like I said, I’ve been in relationships going back 30, 30 years and stuff, you know? 

[00:19:45] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Cool, cool, cool. I mean this is a very good insight. Like, I think as you said earlier, you wanna, you will introduce people if you can, can you bring them to your family dinner? 

[00:19:57] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. 

[00:19:57] Ghazenfer Mansoor: So, I was reading. Somewhere somebody said, if you wanna marry somebody, the first question is, can you go, do you think you can take this person to a war with you? If the answer is yes, the same goes with every type of relationship, is this. So I think the key part is it is not a transaction. We’re looking at the long term.

That’s right. That’s so for the long term it could be anything, not just at one deal. 

[00:20:26] Kevin Thompson: That’s right. That’s right. 

[00:20:27] Ghazenfer Mansoor: You will find so many people for one time deals. 

[00:20:30] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. And you know, and, and you know what, you bring up such a big point right there because, you know, I, I gave the example of Joe, you know, him and I met 30 years ago, and, you know, our, our relationship was at, you know, at that level 30 years ago.

But over the last 30 years. Man, Joe has done a lot of stuff in 30 years. I’ve done a lot of stuff in 30 years, and so our relationship today is so much more valuable now than it was 30 years ago. And what’s possible through that relationship today is so much bigger. Now, and, and that’s what happens is, relationships expand because we are expanding, we as individuals are constantly growing and evolving and, and becoming just, you know, I, I don’t wanna say better versions of ourself be becoming newer versions.

We just, we just become more powerful and more effective. The more we do what we do and the more experience we have, you know, I mean, I turned 60 years old this last year and, and I feel at 60 ‘Ghazenfer I don’t know how you feel, but I feel like I’m just really now starting to figure stuff out, you know? So 

[00:21:48] Ghazenfer Mansoor: the older we get, the wiser we are for sure. 

[00:21:51] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:21:52] Ghazenfer Mansoor: True. Cool. So,  I was gonna ask that later, but you talked about Joe multiple times. I read his book Genius Network. So do you recommend any book, what is your favorite book on relationships? Do you read books? 

[00:22:13] Kevin Thompson: Oh yeah, I definitely do read books, and hands down, my favorite book ever is a book called The Go-Giver by Bob Burg.

I can’t remember. He had a co-author on that book.  But I have read that book that was first given to me by Bess Cooley 11 years ago, and I reread that book every single year. It’s a quick, easy read. It’s a story, it’s a parable, but it is, man, it is powerful and it is packed with just such good insight. And it’s so interesting. Every year when I reread that book, I always get something new. And after all these times of reading it, I’m still amazed that like, wow, you pick up stuff. I, I’ve read this book a bunch of times and I did not pick up that before out of all those times, you know? And that is, yeah, I mean, I’m, I’m a pretty avid reader,  you know, and I’m just a plug for a guy that is a client, Rod Neuenschwander. The book I’m reading right now is a book called,  From Crisis to Clarity by Rod Neuenschwander , who is the co-founder of a company called Giftology. And, uh. It was founded by him and his partner, John Ruhlin and John Ruhlin,  unexpectedly passed away a little over a year ago.

 completely, I mean, just died of a heart attack and nobody even saw that coming. It was like the epitome of health.  But I’ll tell you. What came out of that for Giftology as a company was absolutely amazing. And Rod John’s partner tells the whole story in this book and it is just such a fascinating read.

And so if you know a company is going through a crisis due to whatever caused that,  this book is such a valuable guide on how to get through that crisis and stuff. And you know, every company does. You know, and so, yeah, I’m a pretty avid reader and usually it’s books that clients and friends recommend to me is how I find out about good books to read and stuff.

But yeah, Go Givers, hands down. One of my favorites for sure. 

[00:24:21] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Okay. Yeah, I’ll check that out.  and yes,  we use John Ruhlin Company giftology, yes. I read that book. It’s a, it is, it changes my perspective on gifting. So,  work with them. Yes. It was very unexpected.  Yeah. I was shocked to hear of John’s death last year.

Also, I wanna correct myself when I was asking this question, I said Genius Network, the book? No, that’s Joe’s, he’s the founder of,  Genius Network. That was his mastermind. Yes. But his book is one of my favorites. What’s in it for them? . 

[00:25:00] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:25:04] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Awesome. So, what is something people believe that it earns trusts, but in reality it actually destroys

[00:25:14] Kevin Thompson: Okay. What is something that, that, that people think that builds trust, but actually destroys trust? 

[00:25:21] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Right. 

[00:25:22] Kevin Thompson: So here’s the thing. And we’ve talked about this before on this as about, you know, just feeling like we need to show up a certain way and, and that that is definitely a huge detriment. To create trust with people.

And, you know, you mentioned Genius Network and there’s, there’s a, there, I’ve been a part of so many, you know, entrepreneur groups and masterminds over the years and, and a lot of groups, you know,  intentionally or not. A lot of times, especially if the group is geared towards having conversations where people share best practices, what kind of tends to happen is people go there with the intention of like, okay, well I need to talk about where we’re winning and where we’re having really great results and stuff, and, and there’s nothing wrong with.

That we, you know, we wanna celebrate our wins for sure. But when  we are focused on, when the whole thing and conversation focuses around best practices, it kind of causes us to wanna put our game faces on. And what, well, I need to go ready to talk about what’s where I’m winning and where I’m crushing it and stuff, and.

A lot of times, you know what? We’re really good at doing certain things and at the same time, you know, while we might be doing really good in this area over here, we might be like over in this area, boy, I could really use some help. Over here and stuff, and yet in certain environments we might hesitate to talk about that because maybe it just doesn’t feel right.

It doesn’t feel like this is the right time or place to be doing that. Or what would people think if they knew that about me kind of a thing. And, and, and the reality is that, you know, when we’re in the right circles and we can just open up and we can speak openly and we can speak candidly and stuff.

And when we’re surrounded with like-minded entrepreneurs who Yep, they too, they’re world class at doing what they do, but like us, regardless of somebody’s size of business or anything. Mm-hmm. We’re all doing the best with what we can. We’re all doing the best with what we’ve got, and we’re so much more alike than we are different.

And when we can just communicate and, and just be candid. Speak openly. Speak candidly. Not being concerned about what someone else might think about us. ’cause the reality is people aren’t thinking much about you and I at all Ghazenfer, they’re thinking too much about themselves. They don’t care about us.

And, and when given the opportunity, you know, uh. Ooh. I can tell you I love talking with entrepreneurs. I love hearing what they’re working on, what they’re up to, and if I’m able to help them in some way, by, in my case, probably making some kind of a connection or introduction for them. Man, nothing makes me feel better than being able to do that.

And, and the reality is that’s how most people are wired. And so this idea that we have to show up a certain way or that we can’t talk about certain things or that, oh, I don’t want to talk about that ’cause what would they think about me if they knew I was dealing with that? The reality is when you bring that up, somebody’s probably gonna be like.

Oh my gosh. Thank God somebody talked about that. ’cause you know what, I’m dealing with something just like that too, you know? And you just open that door for this real meaningful conversation to take place. And that’s where the magic happens. 

[00:29:26] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Absolutely. No doubt on that part. Thank you. So in today’s AI driven AI is changing everything.

[00:29:38] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:29:38] Ghazenfer Mansoor: How do you see the relationships are changing or going to be impacted with AI and this fast moving world? 

[00:29:48] Kevin Thompson: So I’m, I’m already seeing it. I mean, you know, and it is, it is absolutely amazing what AI is doing already. And, and you know, we’re already at this point where sometimes we look at stuff and like, you know what?

I can’t tell if that’s real or if that’s AI and we’re already having those experiences and that’s only gonna get compounded the more we keep moving forward. And I can tell you from personal experience and just having conversations that I’m having with really high level entrepreneurs,  relationships, real meaningful relationships and connection with like-minded people is becoming more and more valuable every single day, and it’s going to continue to become more and more valuable. And so, you know, with ai,  you know,  it’s the, I mean, well just e every one of us can look at that situation and, and see that like, yeah, you’re right Kev.

You know, man, I, there is, I mean, some things, yeah, I can see it like. You know, right away my needle goes up and it’s like that. That’s ai, you know, but then there’s other things we start wondering about. You know, I don’t know. You know, I mean, there was a news story over the holidays here that took place,  in my local area where a highway got washed away from the river.

And what was weird was the picture it had of the highway and it was like a rectangle right out of the highway. Gone. And it was right to the yellow line in the middle. It was like a slice of cake being cut out. And my wife took one look at that photo, and she’s like, that’s not real, that’s ai.

And I’m like. Maybe she’s right and I had to look it up closer and found No, the photo was actually a real photo and stuff, and that was what the highway looked like when the river washed it away and stuff. But the fact that we’re questioning it and my wife’s knee jerk right away, that’s not real. That’s ai.

You know,  that is happening more and more all the time. And when we just kind of look at that for ourselves, you know,  each one of us is probably thinking to ourselves. Yeah. When it comes to relationships, you know, this AI thing Yeah, that’s cool and stuff, and there’s a lot of good things happening.

There could be some, you know, negative sides to that too, obviously, but. When it comes to relationships, we all are like, we’re really cognizant of that and we’re all craving more real, meaningful, intentional relationships. 

[00:32:26] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Thank you. So in our business we work a lot. Health tech organizations, startups, early stage founders, and a lot of those stuff are like apps and online tools where everything is online, digital marketing, getting those customers more. Any advice for those kinds of people, how they could leverage this relationship building philosophy? Help themself in the long run as well as their business. 

[00:33:05] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. 

[00:33:05] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Versus because, because we are in a world where we are taught that a lot of that stuff could be done by sitting behind the table. And there are people who have done and never got out of the building and they have done and achieved.

So there are some,  I would say some, those kind of examples as well that just give a wrong impression to many of the people. So, 

[00:33:28] Kevin Thompson: totally, totally. 

[00:33:28] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Any thoughts on that? 

[00:33:30] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. You know, so there’s, you know, you, the, the, the term marketing funnel has been around for a long time, you know, and, and setting up systems and, and, you know, and technology, you know, has come so far that, and there’s technology for anything and everything we could possibly want to do.

You know, and, and it’s really great. It’s awesome, and it, and it helps us leverage our efforts and you know, and I just look at it all like, even when I’m using technology, whether it’s, you know, email, whether it’s text messaging, whether, you know, whatever we’re using, we’re still looking at, you know, leads and prospects and all of that.

They’re all people, and just by keeping that in mind, these aren’t just numbers, they’re not just email addresses. These are people and, and they’re people who have come to us for a reason. And, and so just, you know, we, we just wanna provide a good experience in whatever that looks like and stuff. And we wanna be cognizant of that, that really, yeah, we can use technology.

There’s nothing wrong with using technology. But, you know, just keep it real and, and just have a real, we, we wanna start a relationship and we wanna have an ongoing relationship. And that’s certainly not to say that technology can’t be used in that. I mean, heck, how we, we all use technology every single day to communicate and stuff, but yet we all can all have really valuable and meaningful relationships through that process too and stuff.

[00:35:12] Ghazenfer Mansoor: So I have one other question that’s more of a personal need as well, I would say. So what do you recommend for the kids, the teenagers early career. I have a son who just turned 19 today. Okay. And I have a 22-year-old as well. And like these youngsters we haven’t seen, we have seen that it is not as social as it used to be. Sometimes you go to the places where all these friends are sitting, but they’re all still talking through their devices. 

[00:35:45] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. 

[00:35:45] Ghazenfer Mansoor: So, which is a dangerous thing. So how do you convince or motivate these youngsters or what strategies we could do so that they. Start focusing on this relationship building long-term, durable friendships.

[00:36:03] Kevin Thompson: Yeah, so I’ll tell you, I, I was really fortunate in that. About 10 years ago, I ran into these guys. They’re not doing it anymore now.  but these guys, Brian Scro and Jim,  Jim,  oh, Jim Shields, they, they used to host these events called board meetings, and it was, and they would host ’em in Florida.  and it, and what it was, it’s a surfing thing that, hence the term board meetings was around surf boards and,  and it was an event for entrepreneurs and their children.

And, and so if you, like, in my case, you know,  we’ve got seven kids. If, if you want to go to that retreat with your kids, you, you, it’s, it’s one, one. One entrepreneur, one child. So if I wanted to go to an experience retreat with all seven of my kids, I’m gonna have to go seven times. You know? ’cause you, you do it one-on-one and, and, but what I, you know, and take, going to that first one 11 years ago with my daughter, Caitlin, was such an absolutely amazing experience, and I’ll tell you the story of what happened because it is so profound and it plays into exactly what you’re talking about. So my daughter, Caitlin, at that time,  she was a junior in high school, that at that time we went there and on the first morning,  after like going out and, and surfing a little bit in the water and stuff, when we came back into the house, they, we started going through this exercise and Jim and Brian started running this exercise and there was probably, there was about, I would say maybe, uh.

You know, 30 or 40 families there. So,   like, like, or 30, 40 people there.  so 20 – 15 to 20 families with like an entrepreneur parent was either a male or female. And their child was either male or female. And, and so they started with a big whiteboard and they started talking with all the kids and they’re like, okay, so talk, we wanna do, we’re just gonna start talking and like, talk about the things that your parents provide for you that you di might not even like think about anymore.

’cause they just do it all the time. And, and, but yet you are really thankful. That they do that for you. And so they start making the list and the kids start showing, well, my, my mom, she pays for my cell phone and stuff and, and like I never, or I never have to, you know, they, man, I get three meals every day and I get, you know, and I get, and my parents bought me a car or, you know, and so, and they just keep on making this list.

And the list got bigger and bigger and bigger. And then after they went through all that with the kids, then they switched over to the adults and they started just saying, Hey, name one. Things that you appreciate most about your child. And so all of us adults started saying, well, I appreciate this and I really appreciate this.

And they started making this list again, you know, and after we did that, what they did is they, they took all the kids and they separated them, and one of them took them off to another place, and then Brian stayed with us and he said, okay, what we’re gonna do here now is you’re gonna write a letter to your son or your daughter, and you are gonna talk about all the things that you appreciate most about them.

And, and that’s what we’re gonna do between now and lunchtime and,  and, and so we all did that. Then,  after lunch when we all came back together and stuff, they said, okay, so what’s happened here is all of the parents, you’ve written a letter to your child and all the kids you’ve written a letter to your parents.

And so what we’re gonna do now is we’re just gonna break up in couples and you go find a place on the beach or wherever you want to go, and, and you’re just gonna read your letters to each other. And you’re not gonna improvise. You’re not gonna, you’re just gonna read your letter to each other and,  and I’ll tell you, you know.

We got down on the beach and  my daughter sat down and I started reading my letter to her. The more I read, she just was in tears. Ghazenfer, because when I got done, she’s like, you know what dad? She goes, I had no idea what you thought. All of that stuff about me. She goes, you’ve never told me that before.

And,  I’d told some of it to her, but she’s like, you know what? She goes, I always just thought that I was, she goes, I, I just didn’t even know all of this stuff before, and, and when she shared her letter with me, it was kind of the same feeling because we’d never connected that way before. And, and one of the things that they taught us at that.

Retreat was the importance of having one-on-one time together like that. And they’re like, you know, hey, when you go home from here, don’t make this the only time that you do this. But once a month, set aside time to just have one-on-one time together, like father daughter date day or whatever. And, and what, and here’s the format for it.

What you do is you do, you’re gonna spend time together one-on-one doing whatever your child wants to do. So the parent doesn’t decide what we do, the child decides what you do, and you spend time together one-on-one. There’s no electronic devices. So for the whole time you’re together on this, there’s no electronic devices, and then at the end you just have a conversation about what was the experience like for each of you.

And so I have been doing that ever since with, not just with Caitlyn, but with all my kids and stuff, and I’ll tell you, Ghazenfer,  man school and stuff, man, it, this, this world is kind of, can be a crazy place, especially for kids and teenagers who just want to fit-in with the other kids and stuff, they’re all just trying to fit in, you know, and, and it, sometimes it can be very difficult and,  but having this time with my kids, I won’t say that we don’t have challenges and we don’t have problems and stuff doesn’t come up because it absolutely does.

But I also feel that I’ve got pretty doggone good relationships with my kids and that when stuff does come up, we figure out how to navigate it and stuff. And, and sometimes, yeah, sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it hurts. And,  I had,  this happened over a year and a half ago where we, my, my daughter who is now, she’s 15, so she would’ve been 14 at the time.

I had a major falling out with one of her really best friends and stuff, and it was, it was bad. And I didn’t know if they were ever gonna see each other again. And she was hurting so much. I mean, she was like, it, it, it, it just, man, she was crying about this. It was so bad. And I, and of course me being dad, man, I just wanted to fix the pain.

And yet knowing that I can’t, and I even told her that. I said, I said, Ellie. I cannot possibly fix this for you, and, but I want you to know that I’m here for you, and if I can help, I say, I’m here for you whenever you want to talk. And, and I’m just, I’m, I’m just here for you and that’s what I can promise for you.

And the next morning I come into my office and there is this sticky note. I’ve had it on my desk ever since this sticky note was stuck to my computer screen. And let me see, where’s my camera? See if I, it says, I dunno if you can read that or not. 

[00:44:44] Ghazenfer Mansoor: You are doing great. Dad. I love you. 

[00:44:47] Kevin Thompson: Yeah. Yeah, and I’ve stuck that right here on my desk ever since, just to remind myself because that little sticky note from her meant so dang much when she was going through such a hard time.

I And like, and I’m, and I’m knowing that I can’t fix this for her, but yet to get that from her, man, that meant the world. That meant the world, you know? And,  we can’t fix everything for our kids and they are gonna go through difficult times. And, and I know my kids, they don’t tell me everything. I know there’s certain things.

I’m sure there’s stuff that they’re like, I’m not doing bad, that, you know, and so, but they do share a lot with me, you know, and I’m grateful for what they do share, and I’m grateful for the conversations that we do have. And,  and I think they’re turning out all right. You know, so. 

[00:45:41] Ghazenfer Mansoor: And this is the most powerful part of our podcast. So thank you for sharing. You bet. Detail though.  Thank you. I really appreciate that. So, one last before we leave,  just a quick question. If someone listening today wants to start building high quality relationships immediately, what’s the very first step they should take? 

[00:46:03] Kevin Thompson: Well tell you what,  the first thing here’s, because everything starts with appreciation.

You know, every door opens when people feel appreciated. And, and here’s the thing, Ghazenfer no matter who somebody is. No matter how successful somebody is, no matter how big of a business they have, no matter how great things look from the outside looking in, there’s not a person on the face of this earth that gets too much appreciation.

We all want more appreciation, and so when we just reach out to people and let ’em know. You know, even people we don’t know, maybe we saw something that they wrote, something they shared on social media. Maybe we saw a video online somewhere, an article that they wrote and, and maybe you might even think, well, well, man, if, even if I tried reaching out to them, I don’t even know if I’d get through to them.

You know, do it anyway. And if, if they had an impact on you, let people know that you appreciate them because you will be absolutely shocked. By how much people will respond to you because genuine appreciation, just, man, it goes so far. And, and so I’ll challenge you. You know, we all got, we all got a cell phone with contacts in it and you know what?

Send out messages, send out some text messages to some people in your life. Send out messages to 10 people and let ’em know one thing that you genuinely appreciate about them. Don’t do anything else. Don’t ask for anything in return. Don’t ask for anything at all and just send out some love, send out some appreciation, and you watch what happens.

And what’s gonna be cool about that is you’re gonna be like, wow, look what happened there when I did that. And. I was the catalyst for that. And you also realize that like, wow, I can do more of that. And it’s a pretty cool experience. But yeah, it all starts with appreciation and just letting people know that we appreciate ’em and man, you’re gonna start opening up doors ’cause people are gonna just wanna talk with you and want to have conversations with you.

[00:48:14] Ghazenfer Mansoor:  these are really powerful insights. Thanks Kevin for such a wonderful conversation. Thank you for sharing your insights, your experience, and your perspective on building real high quality, high trust relationships. Really appreciate you joining us on Lessons from the Leap. Before we wrap up, where can our audience connect with you?

[00:48:35] Kevin Thompson: Yeah, I’m, you know, the easiest place is on Facebook or LinkedIn.  Kevin, the connector on Facebook.  and I don’t know, you can find me on LinkedIn too and stuff. And,  and, and you can check out the Million Dollar Relationships podcast. Check that out. And if what you see there resonates with you and you’re an entrepreneur who’s using your business to make your biggest impact and stuff, I would be totally honored to just have a conversation, get to know you a little bit.

If it makes sense. We could do an interview for the Million Dollar Relationships podcast too and stuff, so. 

[00:49:10] Ghazenfer Mansoor: Awesome. And we will include the link to your. Podcast, your LinkedIn, your Facebook. Perfect. In our podcast note. Thanks Kevin. It was wonderful to have you on our podcast. 

[00:49:21] Kevin Thompson: You are so welcome it’s an honor.